I have had some grumpy days lately. I'm tired, I'm not reaching my goals as quickly as I would like, Eli is a VERY busy toddler that has no fear... I am always on. One night as I was trying to make dinner and all the kids were in my "one butt" kitchen with me asking me to fulfill all of their immediate needs, I said in a fairly loud voice, "I need a vacation from being a Mommy." As soon as it came out of my mouth I felt a massive amount of remorse. Isaac broke into tears afraid that I was going to leave him. Hannah was just quiet. Eli didn't really change his behavior and still insisted that I hold him. So I explained to my children that sometimes Mommies need some time to be alone, that alone time can make us be better at being Mommies.
The next day I was still feeling grumpy, and I was praying for God to help me change my attitude and my heart. Throughout the day there were several things that caught my attention and made me think about my perspective. An Arthur TV show even helped convict me. God works in mysterious ways. I needed to change my perspective. I began to think of my friends who have had children die too young. I began to think of people around the world who don't have homes to keep clean. I began to think about people who dig through the dump to find clothing to wear and scraps of food to eat. Many other situations flashed through my mind. I suddenly felt very selfish, arrogant, humbled and wrong. God changed my perspective.
I haven't been so grumpy since then. Yes, I am still tired and those grumpy feelings keep trying to bubble up to the top and make a stinky debut. But my perspective has changed. I will be thankful for my many blessings and search out ways to bless others with the blessings God has entrusted to me and my family.
That's a good perspective. I feel you though, it is hard being a mother. God has had to help me change my perspective too, very recently in fact. I'm glad I'm not alone on this journey. God bless you my dear friend.
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