Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I Love My Daughter

The other day, Hannah was talking to me about a friend of hers and she referred to her friend as the "tiny" person.  I asked her what that meant, and she said that her friend was short.  I talked with her about being careful with name calling, that referring to her friend as "tiny" might hurt feelings.  She looked at me with a blank look.  Now, Hannah is tall.  So I asked her what she would feel if someone called her a "big" girl.  Another blank stare.  She said with a huge smile, "I am a big girl."  Her innocence and confidence brought a sense of joy to my heart.  I hope she is always proud of being a big girl!  I hope her confidence never waivers. Even though I'm sure she was referring to the fact that she is almost 8, I know she has no second thoughts on her appearance. 

I know, being from good German blood, that Hannah will not be petite.  She will be tall like most of my family.  I was never petite.  In high school I was quite thin, but never saw myself in that light.  I always saw myself as a "big" girl, like that's a bad thing.  I look back at pictures now and just sigh.  I was tall and thin.  In some areas of my life I have always been confident, but not in my appearance... the curse of the American girl.  I am so happy that Hannah is confident in herself, in her appearance.  I want to do all that I can to help her keep that confidence, not to be overwhelmed with the feeling that she has to look a certain way, or weigh a certain weight.  I want her to remain self assured of who she is, the beautiful person God has created her to be!

I know that part of helping her remain confident, is showing her my confidence in myself.  Yikes.  But of all the things that could motivate me to find my own sense of confidence, Hannah is by far the best motivation I could ever have.  Yes, I am a big girl.  I am tall. I have the hips that successfully delivered three babies and I will never look like I did in high school... pregnancy, childbirth and age will do that.  I do want to be in better shape, and taking care of my body is important.  I strive to be in better shape, but it should not define who I am... where my confidence lies.  I strive to find my strength and my confidence in the knowledge that I am created by a loving God who has wonderful plans for me, who made me and shaped me just the way I am.  I pray that I can show just that to Hannah everyday, and that God will show it to me!

I love my daughter!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Weaning Weekend

Yep.  This is the weaning weekend.  Some of you may be surprised that Eli is still nursing, but I nursed all my children on demand until they were 18 months and then began the slow wean.  I am an extended breastfeeder and proud of it!  I don't really ever bring it up because I get a little tired of the weird looks I get... only in our culture.  Anyway, this next weekend is weaning weekend.  Eli turns 2 in December, and I have had all the kids weaned by the time they turned two.  I think Eli will be the most difficult.  I have told him that this is the last week and we are counting down.  Really he only nurses before bed and in the morning.  Bedtime will most likely be the most difficult for him.

I am having mixed emotions about this.  In the past 8 years, I have spent 6 of them nursing my children.  This will mark the end of a significant era in my life.  In one way I am ready to be done, in another way I just want to hold on.  But, I know it is time and it will be good.  It just is a BIG marker that means all my children are becoming more independent.  All in all, I am more excited about this than not, but I'm sure it will be a weekend of mixed emotions.  So this week, my last nursing sessions with Eli will be extra special, full of much love and many cuddles.

I'll let you know how it goes.  I'm praying Eli is ready and it goes well!