New Every Morning

I have the tendency to be hard on myself.  I'm not a perfectionist in all areas... only in some.  I HATE making a mistake, I despise hard confrontation.  When fight or flight hits, I flee.  This is my natural instinct.  I remember in high school I went to some haunted house thing around Halloween... I fled that scary stuff... I didn't wait to see if the chinsaw was fake.  As much as I want to be a fighter all the time, I am not.  I am hard on myself for not being a fighter.  I will say that I am a fighter when it comes to my children, and the children I work with.  My heart and soul fights for them.

I have goals I want to meet.  I am hard on myself when I mess up.  Then I think what's the point... I'm going to mess it up anyway.  I convince myself it is good enough to just say I have a goal... that the goal really is not attainable.  I think it is a coping mechanism, a way to rationalize my failures.  But this is not right.  The Bible says that God's mercies are new every morning.  Every morning when I get out of bed, His mercies are new.  I have a completely fresh start.  What a relief!  I can work towards my goals, knowing that rough patches will come along, but they don't need to stop me.  I don't need a false coping mechanism because God's mercies are new every morning... mercies for me.  His grace covers me over and I am free to succeed, free to mess up, free to start again.  I don't need to become a fighter... God fights for me.  When I flee, I just need to remember to run to Him, flee to His gracious and loving arms.