Today I had a major flash of postpartum hormone stuff. I am not typically a person who cries a lot. Every once in awhile I do, but not a lot. So my hormones must really be out of whack. Eli's shirt is a little small and I start to get all teary eyed because I know I will never have a baby this small again. Believe me, if I didn't get so sick while pregnant I would have more children. I think I would be willing to take as many as God would give us. I LOVE being a mommy and the more the merrier in my mind. BUT, I don't do so great at pregnancy, so we are done. This was cause for much emotion today. It is always hard for me, but I usually don't cry about it. Not so today.
Then, I had a huge mood swing and became a bit on the manic side. I had to have Isaac play quietly and I just sat and rocked Eli trying to keep calm. My hair was in my face and I just about decided to cut it myself... I chose the smarter route and pinned it back. I think may have had something to do with the onset of a massive headache, also caused by hormone. Thankfully Aaron got home and was able to help out a little bit while I returned to a more normal state of being. Don't worry, I didn't weird out or anything, but I felt very manic inside. I don't like that feeling at all.
I am also praying hard that Eli rolls over and laughs for the first time before I go back to work. I really am afraid that I will miss those firsts... another cause for tears today.
Will tomorrow be any better? I am getting a haircut, that should help!
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